Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
cat food counts as protein by the way
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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