And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
