It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
