is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
