He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
