I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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