Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize