Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
