The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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