there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
