do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
