we're blogging at a bar
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
