halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
