Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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