is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
