She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
