1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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