Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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