ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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