I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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