Plan B is the new Plan A
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize