I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Randomize
