doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
