Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize