Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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