he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
