Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize