I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
