watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
