I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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