when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
