I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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