I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
