you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
