I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Randomize
