When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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