billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
