I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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