i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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