Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
