just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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