so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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