I hate all girls vehemently.
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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