Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
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