are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
