Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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