She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
