We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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