ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
