Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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