so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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