I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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