just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
birth control should be required to get into college
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Randomize
