Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
