she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
