On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
