you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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