Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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