If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
So I just went to clothing optional bar
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
