He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
