so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
