i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize