We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
