mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
He shit in the fireplace
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
