I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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