Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
