Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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