He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
