so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
