i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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