Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
