Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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