matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
