He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Randomize
